Best Laid Plans: July 2018

072018

  • Total: 7,350 words
    • Write 350 words/day
    • 5 days/week (Tuesdays and Sundays off)
  • Project: I want to keep working on “This House Isn’t Haunted” and see what I can turn it into. I also might take another shot at Death Drive.*
  • Soundtrack: I have been listening to She Wants Revenge and Industrial Music For Bondage Balls on very heavy rotation lately and there’s no reason it won’t continue. Also Celldweller, Blue Stahli, Faderhead, all my most favorite people, I don’t know why I keep listing my musical preferences it’s all just the same thing over and over and over. Maybe it’s a weird holdover from my LJ days.

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*Confession: Whenever I’m intensely compelled to revisit Death Drive, it’s because I’m intensely missing a particular friend that I don’t speak to anymore. Obviously I could text him and see whether we’re still anything to each other … but I’m a millenial and I hear we’re all terminally afraid of conversation or rejection or something or everything.

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Best Laid Plans: June 2018 (In Retrospect)

Wordcount goal: 7,700 words.
Words written: ~1,800
Days writing fiction: 2.
Projects: “This House Isn’t Haunted,” expanded from the original fragment into a halfway decent (very) short story.

Excuses: It’s not much, hardly anything really, but I feel a lot more productive than I have in months. I’m writing consistently, even though most of it isn’t fiction or even anything I care about. This is not what I imagined for myself as a youngling when I wanted to be a professional writer, but I’m getting paid to write and it’s reasonably interesting work, so that’s something.

School: I got an A in Creative Writing (expected) and proved to myself that I don’t always suck and fail (surprising). I turned in all the assignments on time, except for the one weekend when the internet went out—I say the internet and not my internet because the internet went out for the entire town—something-something windstorm, something-something fallen tree, something-something severed internet cable … which was a happy accident because I hadn’t actually started the assignment yet (as I do) but at least I had a halfway valid excuse for not being on time. Next up: graphic design. I am scared I can’t do it but the assignments don’t look impossible and I’ll probably be okay if I can remember not to freak the fuck out when I get confused.

Freelance: This month was a good month. I had the highest number of blog assignments I’ve had from my contact and I got a couple other projects through the content mill site I’m on. I also signed up for a few other platforms recently and I’m waiting to hear back and see how those go.

Best Laid Plans: June 2018

062018

  • Total: 7,700 words
    • Write 350 words/day
    • 5 days/week (Tuesdays and Sundays off)
  • Project: Let’s say … a collection of shorter works until I decide what to work on for longer.
  • Soundtrack: Faderhead (emphasis on Night Physics and Black Friday), The Mission UK, Celldweller/Scandroid, Blue Stahli/Sunset Neon, Grendel (emphasis on Age of the Disposable Body), Covenant.

Best Laid Plans: May 2018 (In Retrospect)

Wordcount goal: 8,500 words.
Words written: 698.
Days writing: 1.
Projects: Tried a few things out, couldn’t get into it.

Excuses: General anxiety things, etc.

School: Going well for once. I am consistently turning in assignments on time, and receiving good feedback. I’m no longer stressed about participating in online discussions, and I’m much less stressed about taking feedback in general.

Freelance: Also going well. Corporate blog post writing suits me. It’s anonymous and I’m learning not to overthink things too much—just write the assignment, follow the spec sheet, and try to be fun/engaging if at all possible. Easy!

Best Laid Plans: May 2018

052018

  • Total 8,500 words
    • Write 350 words/day
    • 5 days/week (weekends off)
  • Project: Something/anything (as per usual). I’m leaning towards something that involves vampires and/or demons and/or traversing the realm of death (as I do).
  • Soundtrack: Faderhead (new album was out November 2017 but I just found it 4 days ago), She Wants Revenge (all of it), The Mission UK (most of it), Sisters of Mercy (all of it), Celldweller (mostly instrumentals), Blue Stahli (the instrumentals and the tracks where he sings with this girl-voice that I just can’t get over (unf)).

I need sunlight, apparently

Context: I’ve preferred to keep vampire hours since I graduated from high school and I’ve stayed out of direct sunlight since I was 14 (it gives me a rash, I burn too fast, fades my hair color, etc), I tend towards gloomy/dreary climates like my birthplace of Seattle WA. My attitude towards the sun has always been like FUCK THE SUN. *raises middle fingers*

And then: I came back from Tokyo (mid-70s, sunny) to Kalispell MT (mid-40s, overcast, snowing) on April 3 and fell into a stealth depression for 2 weeks. It was one of those episodes where I just didn’t care about anything. I lost the 3 lbs I gained in Japan (and then another 7) because I was forgetting to eat except for dinner—being the person who makes dinner for another person reminded me to make dinner. I was also sleeping too much and thinking a lot about all my failures. Fun times. Then the sun started coming out more and I got less worse.

Conclusion: Stupid human construct.