The short explanation is mental health fuckery and dental work.
The longer explanation is work sucks and has been tripping up my anxiety which has been making my sleep disorder worse which has been making work more difficult to handle, etc, etc, repeat. Also depression. I have had two deep depressive episodes within the past 6 months and I still refuse to be medicated or properly diagnosed because I persist on clinging to the belief that I can and am successfully coping on my own.
When I started researching non-pharmaceutical depressive treatment options, I figured out that what I’m doing is somewhat similar to cognitive behavioral therapy and. I’m keeping my head above water. Just. I’m not suicidal. I’m not at the point where I need to hide the sharp things. I’m helpless/hopeless but I’ve gotten pretty used to this feeling, so.
Besides the mental issues, I am finally dealing with some dental issues that I have neglected for too long.* Dental work is both interesting to me and a special kind of psychological torture.
Tl;dr: I’m trying to do better/I’m trying to be better. I’ll be back once I have anything somewhat worthwhile to post about.
*Who the fuck waits until they’re over 30 to get their wisdom teeth out? Seriously.