At some point today during hours and hours of laundry* and decompressing from the past week at work and mentally rebuilding all the emotional walls I need to function for the next week, I realized that tomorrow I will be in training for the new department instead of taking phone calls.
And. So much of the deep pervasive stress that is always there always no matter what… just went away.
I guess I hadn’t realized how draining it is to be verbally abused several times every day in an environment where all you can do is take it. An environment where if you dare to acknowledge how awful someone is behaving beyond saying “I completely understand how frustrating this situation must be for you,” it becomes questionable as to whether you’ll have a job the next day. An environment that paradoxically instructs against using any sort of coping mechanisms because they want “interactions to be more human.”**
Last time I quit*** this place it was less than a week after being trained for a different department. Because it is so hard to have to go back to the actual job part of the job after getting used to not having to do all the really terrible parts.
I hope I can make it through this time.
*So how in the fuck is it that doing laundry takes all day now? When did this happen and why wasn’t I told?
**That cliche about the frog in the slowly-heated-to-boiling water? Welcome to my life.
***”Quit” should be read as “I stopped going to work because I was mentally and emotionally incapable of doing the job anymore and then I had an extended depressive episode and a breakdown.”****
****First world solutions?