I feel a distinct lack-of-connectedness with everything.
There’s a vague desperation localized somewhere between my chest and my stomach.
There’s also this mental dropping sensation.
I am falling apart and I have no one to hold me together… just me. It’s empowering and horrifying at the same time.
I want to be a grown up, and to grow up.
I want to prove myself, to myself.
I want writing to save me.
I want to mark this planet before I die.
I want to be loved.
I want to cry the way I need to but I can’t.
… I should be writing.