Sleep, Or Lack Thereof

It’s really gawth-trendy to claim insomnia. That’s why I tend not to.

I don’t think that’s what I have anyway, what I have is more of a persistent inability to fall asleep and—when I do finally manage to fall asleep—an inability to stay asleep for more than a few hours at a time.

Example: Sleepy-time before last found me awake every 2-3 hours, for at least an hour at a time. After that, I’m using caffeine to prop myself up through the day in hopes that when I crash, I’ll actually be able to sleep for some length of time.

When I got home from having dinner with family, I was so tired I couldn’t see straight. I took off my mascara, stripped, crawled into bed and fell asleep for nearly 4 hours (for me, this is a lot).

Then I woke up.

Completely awake. (“Sleepy-time is over now, bitch!” says my brain.)

I’ve been staring at this screen for a couple hours now and I swear I had every intention of trying to write something… but I can’t focus.

And I can’t believe I used to think this was some kind of heightened creative state or whatever back when I was in high school and I’d do it to myself on purpose.

Hindsight and all that.